You just have to keep plugging away. Not really sure where you can get newbie help. Basically a lot of the starter quests explain stuff about the game and as an Elf you can go to Pioneer Village once you have gotten to Varanas and do all the human training missions as well. You can talk to your newbie pet as well, it has some good info for beginners.
Also see if you can find a guild accepting newbies - having someone ingame to talk to makes things easier and more enjoyable. Certainly should be more friendly than zone chat, though imo zone chat should be more busy a lot of people shouldbe braver about using it even if you do get occasionally flamed.
Yes, pets including the newbie can get you stuck in combat, meaning little to no HP or mana regeneration. You desummon it by clicking on the egg in your backpack. They can help with debt as once a day you can ask them for Atonement Vouchers that clear your debt once used. You get debt that must be paid off once you die, though you don't get any under level 10.
I don't attack targets that I am focussing. You might be as you have mouse movement enabled, I only use the keyboard. You might also be double clicking. I think if you right click and select focus, that should also target without attacking. Another tip is to use Tab, this selects targets that are in front of you.
As I say the best thing is to just start playing and don't be afraid of making mistakes, we all did, and most of us still do. I'm awful at this game, but the point is to enjoy it not be the best. It isn't a race as my mother would say
Here is some light reading for you - it should shed some light on the basics for you.
https://forum.runesofmagic.com/showthread.php?t=339445
https://forum.runesofmagic.com/showthread.php?t=99094
https://forum.runesofmagic.com/showthread.php?t=279001
https://forum.runesofmagic.com/showthread.php?t=345064
For most things there will be a guide out there about it. Just relax and have fun.